In the distance, a gulping sound caused me to crane my neck and look around the beach that I was standing on. I watched the jungle edges for a sign of any moment. A bush to the left of me shook and my blood went cold. A shiver ran up my spine as goose bumps appeared on my arms. The bush shook a little more violently as I held in a squeal. Two small frogs about the size of a paperclip, jumped out of the bush. I took a deep breath and let it out heavily. The frogs were both blue and had black specs on them. I looked forward to get a better look as three more frogs jumped out of the bush and four jumped out of the bush next to it. I looked to my left and my right and noticed that at least 40 of these frogs surrounding me.
The range of color of the frogs went from blue to red to green to yellow, to copper and black. I looked hard at these frogs. I had to remember when I had seen them before. I knew that they were poisonous because of their vibrant color but they couldn’t be poisonous to me. I didn’t think that they could bite.
Out of the blue I heard a bloodcurdling scream. I young girl ran out of the jungle near me screaming. She was thrashing her arms and fell into the sand. A few of the frogs that were closer to me, quickly jumped over to her. She fell in the sand and continued screaming. I started to back away slowly, starting to come to realization of what was going on. The frogs were biting the girl. As the girls screaming died down and the frogs began devouring her body, I began backing away a little bit faster, as more and more frogs jumped out of the dense forest. I broke out into a sprint. If these frogs got onto my body, I could be killed instantly. I kept my head up and looked straight ahead as I ran. I pumped my arms as fast as I could and opened my strides. I turned around quickly to see how far ahead the frogs were. Most of the frogs were at least a quarter of a mile behind me. I slowed my sprint down to a run to catch my breath. As I turned back around I tripped over a tree branch. I fell onto the soft sand and took a breath. The tip of my knee started itching badly and as my hand reached for it I looked into the beady eyes of a poison dart frog devil.
I really liked your ending. A cliff hanger ending really adds suspense to the entire blog because it would make someone want to come back to read more. I also really liked your figurative language use. The entire first paragraph is full of great descriptions and comparisons that really add to the mood of the post. I also liked that you emphasized the fact that this could be the end of your life.
I think that this piece was ver well-written with greatly crafted sentences. Watch out for errors that can easily fixed such as shifting in verb tense. This sentence didn’t make sense, ” I looked to my left and my right and noticed that at least 40 of these frogs surrounding me.” I think you meant to say “I noticed that at least 40 of these frogs surrounded me.” You shifted tense in that sentence. Over all, very good work!
I thought that your post was really well written. I liked the way you described everything going on. You did have a few tense errors that can easily be fixed. I really liked how the end was a cliffhanger, and how it left the reader guessing if you survived or not. Over all, you did a great job on this post.