I’m woken up from my light sleep by a loud rush of wind blowing through the trees. I blinked a few times and took a look around me. I hear more whooshing in the distance and felt a sprinkling of water against my skin. I looked down towards the ocean where I had run from the first day. Huge waves came rolling in and crashed against the beach. I watched as the supply tent was engulfed by the waves and swept out to sea. I blinked a few times as the smell of saltwater crept into my nose.
Gingerly, I climbed down the tree that I had been laying in. As the waves became bigger, the water level started climbing up the mountain said. Since the mountain was so close to the sea, I knew that pretty soon the water would reach my level. I started to panic. I was sure that if I tried to get to a higher elevation, other competitors would be there. I also realized that making alliances would be risky because I couldn’t really trust anyone.
Reluctantly, I started trudging up the mountainside. The wind got worse, tossing my body around like a ragdoll. At one point my I hit the trees with such force I was certain that I had broken a rib. My breathing became choppy and raspy as I grew o a higher elevation.
I sat for just a second at the foot of a tree to catch my breath. I looked up at the dark sky and thought of my family back home. I thought of my mom, reminding me to be wise and think. I thought about the storm. This storm isn’t a natural storm. I’m in the Hunger Games. All of this was planned. I shouldn’t be afraid. I cant be afraid.
I AM NOT AFRAID.
I wiped the sweat off of my face with the top off my shirt. Standing up, I looked down at the water rising faster than before and realized that as long as I kept my distance from anyone or anything, I would make it out alive. I looked up once more, and closed my eyes. The whooshing of the wind came to an abrupt halt. I quickly fluttered my eyes open and looked around. The water was gone, back at normal sea level. The skies were clear and puffy white clouds rolled by. How absurd? I thought. Just as quickly as it had started, it was over. I reminded myself not to let fear get the best of me again. I couldn’t ever be afraid like that again. Never, not ever.
I really liked the great choice in adverbs such as, “Gingerly, I climbed…” There were only a couple of spelling errors like “mountain said” instead of mountain side. I also like how you emphasized the thought process of what you would do and how you would cope with it.
I really liked your post the way you described the tsunami. You did have a small typo in your third paragraph, My breathing became choppy and raspy as I grew o a higher elevation. I’m assuming it was supposed to be the word to, it was only a minor typing error so next time be sure to proof read. Over all I thought this post was very well put together.
Overall, I think this was a very well-written post. I feel as though some of your sentences, especially in the first paragraph, were a bit short and choppy. You really hit the nail on the head with sensory details and figurative language. Great job!