By the time I stop to catch my breath my legs feel as if they are no longer attached to my body.  I look around and realize that a deep, dense forest surrounds me. I also notice the slant that I’m standing on and conclude that I had been running up a mountain. I hear a faint cannon boom in the distance that lets me know that another tribute is dead. I think to myself, as long as I keep running and stay strong, I can survive.  I look up at the bright blue and watched the clouds move swiftly across the sky. I wondered how the sky could look so calm while looking down at such harsh brutality.  

            In my hands I carried a long skinny saber and a short, stocky blade that I had snagged from the supply reserve.  I had to think. Think B, think. Where was I going to sleep for the night? I couldn’t stay up all night but what if I got killed during my sleep? I was going to need to get to a higher elevation to find a safe place to hide.  I continued climbing the mountain in big, spread out steps.  Looking over my shoulder, I gasped as I saw a figure move behind me. 

            Suddenly, a short blond girl jumped in front of me with a sword pointed at me. She swung with such force that when I ducked I tripped over a tree branch and tumbled down a few feet. The girl swung again, missed and hit the tree next to me. I could tell that she wasn’t prepared because she wasn’t protecting herself at all. I could immediately point out her weak spot and took my chances with it. I took my sword, pulled my arm back, and swung. I opened my eyes without realizing that they were closed. I watched as the head of the poor blond girl fell quietly down the mountain. I let out a short squeak as a tear ran down my cheek.  I could smell the fresh blood and got emotional. Tears flood my eyes like a dam filled to the brim with water. What am I doing? I’m not supposed to be afraid and yet I’m scared more than ever. Stay strong, I tell myself. I put my fingertips to my earlobes and to try to mentally strengthen myself. Many tributes were already dead so as long as I stayed hidden I could finish alive. I would finish alive. I couldn’t be afraid of the other tributes, of the harsh terrain, or even of the animals of the night. I would stay strong and stay hidden. My main goal was to stay alive because when the curtain opens I want to be the only one remaining in the spotlight. 

3 thoughts on “First Night of the Hunger Games

  1. Suspenseful, with descriptive vocab however there are a few verb inconsistencies, such as: ” I LOOK up at the bright blue and WATCHED the clouds move swiftly across the sky.” Just remember to proofread, since you ALSO forgot a word in the sentence: look up at the bright blue ? and watched the clouds move swiftly…”

  2. I really liked the suspense of your attack and the way you described your surroundings. There were a few mistakes like commas and tense. Those are easy things to fix by proof reading, but overall I really enjoyed reading it.

  3. This was great! Other than the few verb tense switches, the sentences were great with good describing/sensory words! I loved when you described how the girl was unprepared, and how you felt after you killed her. Great job!

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